Have you ever worked with voice recognition software? I have. It's never a pleasant experience. This crapware requires endless hours of configuration and voice training to get it to work even so-so. I've never seen it work as well as it should.

Software like this is truly a blessing for people who are physically incapable of typing. But I've never seen people like that using it. I know a guy who literally has no arms, just hands attached directly to his shoulders. Even he doesn't use voice recognition software. He has a special desk that holds his keyboard vertically right in front of his chest.

No, the only people I see using this software are lazy people. People who can type, but don't want to be bothered. It amazes me that some people would spend months worth of free time configuring their computer to respond correctly to the spoken command "Open… Microsoft… Word" when it takes about a second and a half to double click on a Word shortcut.

Since I'd never use this garbage for myself, the only time I ever have to work with it is when I'm trying to get it to work for somebody else. And of course the software's not trained for me, so accuracy is hideous.

The last time I tried voice recognition, I was dictating in Microsoft Word. I spoke the lyrics to one of my all time favorite songs. I spoke at a slow pace, enunciating very clearly, like I was trying to communicate with a non-English speaker.

Here's what I got:

there must be some kind of way out of here
said to affect the
Bears to a much conviction
I did did not
put it demanded direct foreign
command igniter
none of them along the line
Any of it is where

no reason to get excited
with the kind we spoke
there are many here Mongols
who attacked with his brother Moe
but united Canada
and that is not our fate
to let us not talk falsely
be all is giving way upon

all alone whatever
the pact is kept the view
walled and women came and went
barefoot servants to
outside in the distance
a wildcat did but all
two writers worked
until it began to roll and an

I'd offer a prize to the first person who can guess the song, but what do I have to give on a blog? Besides, offering a prize would virtually guarantee -G.D. would win… and I'm pretty sure she'd want my soul.