Being a completely fictional ending subtitled "Revenge of The Sith," graciously provided by Lab Boy.

As I opened my door into the living room, I saw FIB and Lazy Roomie having some sort of a discussion. "I LOVE HIM!" She screamed. LR looked pissed. He reached out his arm toward FIB, making a gesture as if choking her from afar. FIB reached up and held her throat.

"Let her go, Roomie!" I ordered him.

"If she is not with me… she is against me," he told me. His eyes were yellow with rage. I knew a fight was about to come on. I took off my bathrobe to reveal my Jedi tunic. With a swift motion of his arm, LR threw FIB into the wall. She fell, passed out.

"You truly ARE Sith, Roomie… Only a Sith deals in absolutes." I drew my light saber, and he drew his. The power arcs, mine green, his blue, lit up the room. We went at it.

Lazy-eyed Nottie ran out of the kitchen to tend to FIB as Roomie and I dueled to the death. "Why are you doing this?" I asked as our sabers kept clashing, the classic hum filling the air.

"I told her to stay away because you're evil!"

"I appreciate the gesture," I replied, "but I'm not evil… You are."

"From my point of view a guy who beats a woman with a bat is evil." We kept going at it. Lazy-Eyed Nottie pulled FIB into my room. Stuff all over the place was getting split in halves with laser precision.

"It was a fucking PLASTIC bat, for fuck's sake! And she WAS sleeping in my bed!"

"And still, she loved you more than she loved me! For that she will die…" I was stunned. Here was the guy who, for all intents and purposes, was like my brother, wanting to kill me and FIB because of her unrequited love for me.

"Then I truly have failed you, Roomie." We kept going at it, but whatever LEN had been cooking in the kitchen caught on fire. The whole place was filling up with smoke and the flames were coming at us. We jumped on the couches and all over the place, striking with our light sabers in an attempt to kill or maim.

Suddenly, Roomie slipped and fell on the ground. I jumped on the table. "Don't try it, Roomie… I have the higher ground." He tried it. As he jumped toward me, with a move I still cannot comprehend, mostly out of instinct rather than thinking, feeling the Force flow through me, I used my light saber to cut off his arms and legs. He fell behind me, close to the fire. His light saber fell at my feet. "What have you done? You were my brother!" The fire came closer to him, and he was unable to move.

"I HATE YOU!" He screamed in a blinded rage. "I HATE YOU!" I picked up his light saber and ran to the room. LEN and FIB were hiding. FIB was in bad shape. We crawled out the window and out of that hell. FIB and I cried as the whole place collapsed, surely killing Darth Roomie… Or so we thought.

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FIB died of sadness a while later, at the hospital. But not before delivering a set of twins. She wasn't fat… She was pregnant. And she kept her pregnancy secret because the children were that monster's. And it was the fact that they were inbred children that made those twins so dangerous. The number of midichlorians in their blood would be doubled. The Force was strong in them. They had to be hidden as word came to me that Roomie had been rescued by the town Mayor, his trusted mentor.

Tonight I walk into the town hall to complete the circle, my dear friends. Either Darth Roomie, who is more machine than man, will die or I will. I know what happens next…

I'm happy Corkey, even with his extra chromosome for being the son of siblings, will fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force. That is why this is my last entry. You cannot come with me anymore. When I last saw him, he was but the learner… Now, he'll be my executioner.

THE END?