A report from ABC News makes me all warm and fuzzy. The powers that be are filing more charges over Abu Ghraib, and this time it's an officer getting charged.
[Lt. Col. Steven L.] Jordan is expected to be charged by Friday with dereliction of duty, conduct unbecoming an officer, lying to investigators and other crimes, according to his attorney…
It's about damn time! I don't know about you, but I never bought the theory that the evil mastermind behind everything, the one guy guy most to blame for the whole thing, was some piss ant E-4 reservist. It's about time the army start punishing the negligence and apathy that allowed the whole thing to happen.
posted at 04/27/2006 08:27 am : Permalink
Categorized News : Tagged Abu Ghraib
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The landlord, who owns our little office building and the building next door, is currently engaged in an activity I'll call "the insurance nightmare." He's washing the sign for the used bookstore.
There's a problem. The bottom of the sign is about ten feet off the ground and he doesn't have a tall enough ladder.
His solution? To park in front of the sign and prop up his ladder on the roof of his truck.
I like this guy, but I want to see him fall on his head just for being so foolish.
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There's a mouse in my office. I left a bag of potato chips on my desk yesterday and this morning I found it with a ragged hole chewed through the side.
Sweet. Not since the death of Midi (short for Middle Management Flunkie) the fish have we had an office mascot.
posted at 04/26/2006 11:40 am : Permalink
Categorized At work : Tagged Jerry, Midi, mouse
So this morning when I got into the car to leave for work, I had a "movie moment." A movie moment is a little flash where I picture an event in my life being inserted into a movie.
Today I pictured a tiny little monster hiding under the car seat. The camera angle was under the seat and the audience would see an ankle-eye view as I bent down to retrieve my dropped keys while the ominous music plays in the background.
I might watch too many horror movies.
posted at 04/26/2006 09:27 am : Permalink
Categorized Huh?, Music, movies, books, TV : Tagged horror movie
It's been a year since the last one, so it's time again for the haiku contest! Born out of a search engine hit, last year's contest turned out to be smashing good fun.
Last year my blog was a very different thing than it is now, so we'll need a new theme. Last year it was anilingus, this year it's California vs. the mid-west. This year's prize will be 500 BlogExplosion credits. If you're not interested in the credits, at least you'll also have the respect and adulation of your peers. (Or something like that.)
So here's how it will work. I'll leave the contest open until noon CDT Monday May 1st. To enter, simply leave your haiku in a comment on this post. Anyone may enter. You may enter as many times as you like, but there will be only one winning haiku. Any haiku will be welcome, but only those following the 5-7-5 format and matching the California vs. the mid-west theme will be considered for the prize. You may take either side or neither side in the CA vs. mw foolishness; it won't effect your chances either way.
Ready to 'ku? I'll start it out.
Haiku submission:
just because it tweaks her
CA can suck it.
posted at 04/26/2006 08:08 am : Permalink
Categorized California sucks, Haiku and poetry : Tagged contest
…sometimes I have this powerful urge to bedazzle something.
posted at 04/25/2006 07:50 am : Permalink
Categorized Huh? : Tagged Bedazzler
[Read this one first.]
The Bunny: I'm going up to take a shower.
Me: k, hon.
Bunny: And because I'm so swell, I'll take this kitty litter up too.
(A moment later)
Bunny: [whump] Oh, fuck! [whump... whump... plop... shifting sand noise] Oh, this is bad.
Me: What? What happened?
Bunny: I've got to go to the bathroom!
(I go to the bottom of the stairs. The box of cat litter is missing its top and litter is everywhere.)
Me: What happened?
Bunny (from upstairs): The top of the box just tore right off! One minute it's in my hand, the next it's falling down the stairs!
Me: Hmm.
(pause)
Me: We should've got the jug.
(long pause)
Bunny: I'm just not going to say anything.
posted at 04/24/2006 08:48 pm : Permalink
Categorized Snippets : Tagged Bunny, cat
The Bunny: They're all out of the cat litter we usually buy.
Me: It's not that important we get it today. We could check tomorrow.
Bunny: Why don't we try this?
Me: Hmm… uh, okay.
Bunny: Chicken, when Daddy says that he really means, "I don't like it."
Me: Heh. I don't like the box. I like the jugs.
(pause)
Me: Whatever. Does it really matter? Get that one if you want. That's fine.
(She grabs the box from the shelf.)
Bunny: Oof! I got it.
Me: Chicken, when Mommy says that she really means, "Are you gonna carry this, you lazy fuck?"
posted at 04/24/2006 07:22 pm : Permalink
Categorized Snippets : Tagged Bunny, cat, Chicken
Today in stupidity (ok, last week Wednesday in stupidity and I didn't find the article until today): Sex cues ruin men's decisiveness.
Catching sight of a pretty woman really is enough to throw a man's decision-making skills into disarray, a study suggests.
Well fucking duh.
posted at 04/24/2006 04:22 pm : Permalink
Categorized News : Tagged decisiveness, sex
Chrissy (at the restaurant next door): Ok, so that's soup, soda and a Skor.
(pause)
Chrissy: Huh-huh, huh-huh.
Me: What was that?
Chrissy: Hmm? Nothing
(pause)
Me: Huh-huh. You said "score."
Chrissy: Haha! I loved that show!
Me: I just picked up a DVD this weekend.
Chrissy: That is so cool. I want that new set.
Me: I'm going back to my office to Skor.
Chrissy: Huh-huh. Shut up, Butt-Head!
posted at 04/24/2006 12:11 pm : Permalink
Categorized At work, Snippets : Tagged Beavis and Butt Head, restaurant
I do have something to talk about today.
Check the sidebar. In an effort to clean up clutter, I converted the Archive, Category, Blogroll and Meta lists to hidden-by-default peek-a-boos. So I have questions for you all. First, does the show/hide functionality work for everyone? Second, does anyone have any interest in a toggle for the entire sidebar? Third, if I decide to implement a toggle, does anyone have an idea for keeping the BlogExplosion thumbnail visible when the sidebar is closed?
posted at 04/21/2006 04:19 pm : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged site layout