First of all… let me apologize for being an "ass" because clearly I was jumping to conclusions and not reading the whole post correctly. I have no problem admitting when I am in the wrong… so here is my sorry for misreading the post…
I must admit though my reading skills are not up to par at 2:30 in the morning and its my bad for jumping to conclusions…
Fish my apologies to you also, because from my correspondence with you, you have been nothing less than a gentleman…
Now… moving on… The things I said where purely tongue in cheek, from the masturbation comment to being overweight… I am from London… us English people tend to have a dry, twisted and sarcastic sense of humor… if it came across as defensive, it was not supposed to.
Ms Kitten… I hope I can clarify a few things for you, and even though I am at the airport right now, waiting on my flight that is delayed, I hope my mind serves me a little better than the last time I wrote something like this…
The one thing that I find so utterly amusing about all this, is that I completely understand where you are coming from… I am just as equally in dismay by women that prance around like a bunch of Barbie dolls, completely oblivious to what is going on in the world…
These type of women would much rather read US weekly than The Economist, they would much rather go to a Hollywood nightclub and get impregnated by an athlete than watch Real Time with Bill Maher on a Friday night…
trust me, I know… I come across theses types of females every single day…
They think Condoleeza Rice is a pudding… and delicious…
But you know what? It doesn't make them bad people. They are who they are and even though I don't relate to it. I suppose they just don't know any better because if they did I am sure they wouldn't be so consumed with such petty things.
I am not offended by your post, because what I love about this country called America is that there is a thing called "Freedom of Speech" and without it, our existence would not be the same…
I am not going to lie though… I was a little disappointed that you thought you had me all summed up… its a shame that there is a backlash toward women that embrace their sexuality, and yet still have something intelligent to say…
It seems in our society, you either have to be Paris Hilton or Hilary Clinton… unfortunately for all the people that want to put me in a box I am neither one nor the other… there is a grey area.
You made quite a lot of assumptions about me, most of which where not true. Its funny, I have big lips, and you assumed I have had them injected, which I haven't. I have had 2 surgeries in my life, my tonsils taken out and my boobs put in. But at the end of the day that's my personal life, and it really has nothing to do with any one else, however I am an open person and I don't mind being an open book for the most part.
The only thing that I felt like I had to defend was when you brought up my past and the fact that I have lived on my own since the age of 12…
that to me was a very personal attack…
You said that explains a lot… and you are right it does explain a lot about my character and who I have become…
I am not sure how you have been raised, but I was estranged from my parents from a very young age, that left me with two options… to become a product of my circumstance and environment or to fight for something better for myself…
I have been busting my ass since the age of 12, holding down 3 jobs and going to school… all at the same time… I have had to be my own support system and nothing has EVER been handed to me on a silver platter… I have NEVER been the type of woman that has fluttered my eye lashes and gotten my own way… in fact quite the opposite, I was the book worm, with the train tracks and the frizzy hair…
I opened up about my past in interviews, because I thought it would inspire people that have had humble beginnings to strive for something bigger and better… I never thought I would have gotten judged and attacked because I didn't have anyone to look after me, and because I raised myself instead of opting to be put in the foster care system, or becoming a "street" kid.
Honestly I laugh at the end of each segment I do, because for some reason it tickles me to say "You've Been Fed."
No matter how much I try and do it with a straight face, it doesn't seem to work… besides I am a very happy person, I love to smile, and I love to laugh… it doesn't make me a "ditz" and even though my mother probably dropped me on my head a few times… I am pretty sure I don't have any brain damage…at least that's what the neurologist said, the last time I checked, although he did mention I may be a little manic. (;
You know we live in this vicious horrible cycle, because people that are labeled "beautiful" by society tend to go through their whole lives, not having to lift a finger and getting by just by being pretty, these people tend to look down on people that aren't conventionally attractive or known to be popular…
On the other hand, people that aren't walking on catwalks or winning popularity contests seem to have resentment to the "Beautiful" people and assume they must be dumb or stupid…
In the end, it's all a load of bollocks and everyone ends up losing out, because we misjudge people all the time… and potentially lose out in getting to know a wonderful person because we summed them up based on their exterior looks or personal beliefs… and this judgment, ultimately on a bigger scale leads to wars and conflicts…
Yes I have been in MAXIM, I have big boobs, and yes I giggle and have a laugh… but on the other hand what I look like on the outside, or what I do for a living doesn't define who I am… anyone that has a conversation with me for a few minutes knows that I actually may just have half a brain… it's only half, but hey, it's better than nothing right?
As a woman, I understand your concerns… I bitch about this stuff every day.
I wonder why 14 year old girls idolize women like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton when they don't even know who Donald Rumsfeld is, or more importantly they don't even care!
It disappoints me, that people try and put me in a box… because as my friend says "Layla is a walking Oxymoron" sometimes I like to show a little cleavage, hit the club and go out with the girls… other days I like to watch CSPAN, read my Newsweek and have a debate with a stranger in the coffee shop about the conflict in the middle east or about Raul Castro possibly taking control of Cuba if his brother dies…
You said you are a waitress right? And someone mentioned that you are very attractive as I am sure you are… and from your posts I can tell you are clearly an articulate woman… however I am sure you have bigger plans for yourself and your future… yet when you are serving some random dude coffee in the morning, I am sure he doesn't think "Wow, this woman is so intelligent and smart" his thoughts are probably "nice ass" or "I wish this dumb waitress would get me my damn coffee."
Now these are all assumptions, and I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, however what I am really trying to say is, that we assume things about people every day, without knowing who they really are or what they are really about…
I have had many trials and tribulations in my life, and I would safely say I am the last thing from shallow or hollow… yet in 3 minutes of watching me on TV and reading a couple of articles about me, in your mind… you had me all figured out.
As a society we are so quick to want to see the worst in people, instead of the best…instead of thinking "wow this girl is really happy" you chose to think
"What the F%$… is this chick laughing about? what a ditz"
I am not here to tell you how to think, or how to live your life… and I have never met you, yet I am compelled to take moments out of my life to reply to your very presumptuous blog…
You are right, I shouldn't care… but this isn't me caring about just what you say… it's not even about that… because I know who I am and where my flaws lie… I have lived with myself for 23 years, I think I know myself better than anybody…
However… if you saw me in the street and said these things to my face, I would defend myself… I am a fighter and a survivor… and always will be…
The reason I said you were ignorant, was because just in the way we judge people based on their skin color, religion or class, you judged me based on my looks…
and you know what? if you want to find or see the worst in someone… you will… as you did in me.
I am a young woman, and I don't have it all figured out… in fact the more I learn, the more I realize how little I know…
I am not going to apologize for who I am, because in my heart I have only good intentions, and I wear my heart on my sleeve…
When I go on television… I am not putting on an act like a lot of people… I am being myself… which makes me completely vulnerable… because I am being judged on who I am, and what people perceive me to be but that's ok… because I am always the real me, and that's all I can be…
I hope you realize, that there are woman out there like yourself, that are intelligent, smart and articulate but may express themselves differently than you do whether it be in the way they dress, the career paths they choose or even what they may find to be funny
I wish you nothing but continued success and I look forward to reading any future blogs you may write. It has been a pleasure, and I thank you for opening my eyes and for challenging me to take a look at things a little bit closer and deeper.
Best Wishes.