Monthly archives for November, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Damn him all to hell

So apparently Michael Douglas almost killed himself.

Douglas briefly lost his footing while standing in a cherry-picker basket 25 feet in the air to christen a new art museum in Bermuda. Douglas, a benefactor of the Masterworks Museum of Bermuda Art, was pouring rum on the roof in a traditional regional "roof-wetting" ceremony Monday but managed to steady himself.

Fucking Michael Douglas. When presented with the opportunity, the guy adamantly refuses to fall on his head.

 

And on a completely different note, I've been considering making a dramatic overhaul to my sidebar. A few of the ideas I'm kicking around might not be compatible with my older blog skins. Does anyone use the Eat at The Fish's, Tossed My Salad, or Just For Charred skins? I'm thinking about getting rid of them to free my template for more radical designs, but I don't want to feel like I'm yanking the rug out from under too many people.

Speaking of design changes, I've changed the way this blog uses CSS. The "standard" methods for serving CSS are to have styles embedded in the HTML or to use static external files. I'm using a different method now. I'm serving CSS through PHP, which (among other benefits) allows some server-side trickery.

Anyway, you probably don't care about the behind-the-scenes voodoo. I bring it up only because I'm wondering about compatibility. I'd hate to go blazing forward with something that doesn't work for everyone. So if none of these new stylesheets are available to you, I'd really appreciate hearing about it.

Friday, November 24, 2006

It's not just me

It's been suggested by several people that I might be a little hung up on the dick lately.

Totally not true. It's just that I'm surrounded by penis imagery.

Robin the Cockenballs

In case you're wondering, this particular piece of hardware is a cockenballs assembly.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Three random things

Whatever happened to all the smörgåsbords? I remember when I was a kid my family used to go to smörgåsbords all the time. Now I don't even know where to find one. The smörgåsbords are all gone. They've all been replaced with "buffets."

Pfft. How uncreative.
 

The other day I was sniffing around on Wikipedia when I stumbled across something that annoyed me to no end. I read eBooks, right? Since I first started with it, I've downloaded thousands of books. I've got books of all sorts. I've got pirated, freeware, public domain and even a hundred and fifty or so purchased, licensed books.

A little over two years ago I bought an eBook by Cory Doctorow, the title of which intrigued me: Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. The description looked fascinating. It's set an unspecified amount of time in the future. The main character, who's died and been restored several times, lives and works in Disney World where he and his companions maintain the Haunted Mansion ride.

Anyway. Cool book, clever ideas, fun read. When I bought Down and Out in The Magic Kingdom at eReader, I paid $8.50. I found out just the other day the eBook is freeware.

Fucking Michael Douglas. That prick charged me $8.50 for a book I could have downloaded legally for free.
 

I had a third thing. I completely forgot what it was. I'm blaming Michael Douglas for that too.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A little from column A, a little from column B

So there's this song, right? "Wraith Pinned to The Mist and Other Games" by Of Montreal. I'm totally in love with this song. I want to have this song's children. I first found it through Pop Candy, which then led me to YouTube. Supposedly the song was sampled for an Outback Steakhouse commercial but I don't recall if I've ever seen that.

Music gives you mental images, right? You hear a song and you picture things in your mind. The mental image I get from this song has nothing to do with the cutesy cartoon video or the spectre of flame grilled streaks. I picture a pudgy, topless teenage girl chair dancing in front of a webcam while drinking mom and dad's liquor straight from the bottle. This is an unusually specific image, I know.

I think this image says one of two things:

  1. The song sounds light and airy, which I associate with freedom. The vision of the girl as pudgy might mean that she feels she's less than desirable. The fact that she's a teen is probably an indicator of social taboo, as being topless on a webcam is definitely a no-no for someone underage. Same deal with mom and dad's liquor. And the dancing? Well, dancing is always about freedom and expression, right?

    So one possible explanation is that to me the song feels like breaking free.

  2. The other possible explanation is that I'm really fucking weird.

I won't rule out the possibility that it's a little of both.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Funny how things change

You remember how you valued money when you were a kid? When I was six, a dollar from my grandpa seemed like a vast fortune.

Friday I received in the mail a packet concerning a class action lawsuit. Apparently the state took Microsoft to task over something or other and I'm entitled to part of the settlement. The case is already concluded. I just need to fill out a short form to get $15 because I purchased a retail copy of Windows.

I haven't filled out the form yet. I'm not entirely convinced $15 is worth the effort.

Friday, November 17, 2006

I'm saving up for his therapy

The Bunny thought it would be a good idea to handmake a few ornaments for this year's Christmas tree. Earlier this week she and The Chicken sat down to make a few cardboard gingerbread men.

I'm not sure what to make of Chicken's David Hasselhoff gingerbread man.

David Hasselhoff, Gingerbread Man

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Um… what?

The Chicken: Dad?

Me: Hmm?

Chicken: Can I dress you up as a giant pickle?

Me: Um… no.

Chicken: Oh. Ok.

Me: How did you come up with that idea?

Chicken: I don't know. Doesn't it sound fun?

Me: Not so much for me.

(pause)

Chicken: I thought it sounded fun.

Good luck with that

So I wonder how that whole PlayStation 3 thing is going to pan out tonight and tomorrow. Have you followed any of the hype on this thing? Supposedly the PS3 will be the most powerful video game system ever. Unfortunately, it's also by far the most expensive.

I'm a bit of a game enthusiast, so I've been keeping tabs on all the news stories that have been sneaking out by ones and twos over the last year or so. I'm convinced the decision makers at Sony are hitting the sake a little too hard.

$600?!

Yeah, yeah… it's actually a bargain considering all the beefy hardware inside the console. It's another step down the road to video games that look like "playing a movie." It's neat, cool and interesting, etc., etc. And it is the cheapest way to get a Blu-ray player. (This is really valid point… a PS3 with a Blu-ray player is several hundred dollars cheaper than a stand-alone Blu-ray player. Sony's taking a loss with that component with the hope of advancing their standard.)

But I still think Sony missed the mark with this. The Blu-ray standard is overhyped, and there's no guarantee it will survive its format war with HD-DVD. The rest of the hardware in the PS3 is fantastic, but it will probably be underutilized for years to come. Developers of major releases always want to ensure wide availability, so games will largely be written for the least common denominator. Many developers won't be willing to release completely specialized versions of their games to leverage the PS3's advanced features, so you'll have many PS3 games that play exactly the same as their Xbox 360 or even PS2 counterparts. That particular trend will probably continue for at least a year or possibly longer as developers wait for the PS3 to achieve larger market penetration. And then consider that a lot of the whiz-bang graphics won't be that big a deal without an HDTV, which most people still don't have and which probably won't be a market standard for at least several more years.

The PS3 will be marketed directly against Microsoft's Xbox 360, which has been on the market for some time now, and Nintendo's forthcoming Wii console. Now Nintendo's really got something going. While the 360 and the PS3 are merely evolutionary, the Wii is truly revolutionary. Wii's motion-sensitive controller has the potential to take gaming to completely new levels. I've read quite a few articles about how technology demonstrations quickly turn into a chorus of onlookers chirping "I want one!" Wii looks poised to attract hordes of non-traditional game players with its completely new style of gameplay. And did I mention the Wii will be half the price of a PS3?

The Wii doesn't come anywhere near the hardware standards set by Microsoft or Sony, but Nintendo seems to have remembered something the other two have forgotten. It's all about play, and the Wii looks like a ton of fun. The PS3 is just a prettier version of the same old thing.

Despite its price and its drawbacks, there will still be a PS3 feeding frenzy when the console is released tonight. Prices on eBay are trending above $2000. Last night at my local Wal-Mart store, there were already five twenty-somethings camped out waiting. And waiting outside, in sub-freezing weather. I sincerely hope those boys are making "entrepreneurial" purchases and are looking for that fast eBay profit.

Come what may, I'm really looking forward to the bevy of news stories about fights, thefts, fraud and small-scale riots that happen around the country as people jostle to snap up the limited supply. I'll leave them to it.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Sometimes I suck at titling posts

So I'm finally concluding a several weeks long odyssey of desire and deprivation by sitting here listening to Rod Stewart's "Maggie May." For weeks I've been craving this song, but until this morning I've only considered it when I've not been able to hear it.

At the movies: "I should listen to 'Maggie May.' "

At work: "Ooh, I could really go for 'Maggie May.' I wonder if I should download LimeWire or something on my workstation?"

In the car: "I wish they'd play 'Maggie May.' "

In a store: "You know, Bunny, I've really been craving 'Maggie May.' "

Lying in bed last night: "Dammit! I keep forgetting to listen to 'Maggie May!' Should I get out of bed and do that now?"

Well, finally I'm listening to it. This brings me to an uncomfortable realization. I don't really like "Maggie May." It's a decent song but it's not all that. It's got a solid opening, but it's all downhill after the first line of the vocals. Actually, now that I think about it, the opening isn't very good either. The classical guitar is just fine, but it feels really out of place. So what I really mean is that the sounds that pour out of my speakers between the forty-fifth and fifty-fifth seconds are just excellent. I could do without all the rest of it.

I've been obsessing over ten seconds. I guess I'm willing to tolerate the five minutes, thirty-nine seconds that make up the rest of it.

Our collective hive mind has decided that "Maggie May" is a classic. And I suppose it is, if for no other reason than it's thirty-five years old and people still listen to it. Or at least they still listen to ten seconds of it. Is ten seconds enough to make a song a classic? Can a song really be a classic if it sucks, except for the part that doesn't?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

And your thoughts?

I'm something of a stat junkie. I've got to check in on things at least once a day to see who's linking to me, where my visitors are coming from, and what kind of search engine terms people are using to find me. Last night I checked in and found a hit that was a little unsettling. Someone would up here in a search for child pornography. Well, probably. The search term was "kid sex blog."

First, doesn't it strike you as really stupid to use a search engine to look for kiddie porn?

Second, do we as bloggers have a responsibility to report hits like these? I saved all the info I have about this visitor. I'm not sure if I should do anything with it.