(In the pool at the health club)

The Chicken: Dad, let's play Simon Says!

Me: Eh. I don't want to play that.

Chicken: Please, Dad?

Me: Ok, ok… just a little while.

Chicken: You go first, tell me what to do!

Me: Simon says… hop on one foot.

(he hops)

Me: Simon says stop hopping.

(he stops)

Me: Simon says… pat your head.

(he pats)

Me: Simon says… rub your belly.

(he rubs, and goofs it up almost immediately)

Me: Ah, you lose!

Chicken: Dad, that one's too tough! Do something else!

Me: Alright, alright… Simon says… jump up and down.

(he jumps)

Me: Simon says… stick your hands up in the air.

(he puts up his arms)

Me: Simon says… stick up just your index fingers.

(he folds the other fingers down)

Me: Simon says… yell "I'm #1!"

Chicken: I'm #1!

Me: Simon says… yell "I pee my pants!"

(he stops dead)

Chicken: (whispering) Dad, I'm not going to say that. People will hear me!