Earworm of the moment: Van Halen's "Panama." Don't you know she's coming home with me? You'll lose her in the turn. I'll get her! PANAMA!

Old man that I am, I now have to stretch before any physical activity. My shoulder hurts from throwing a football around yesterday.

I'm so tempted to use that junk toilet the landlord parked out on the curb in front of my office.

There's something very wrong about taking a broken toilet and putting it on the curb with a sign that says "FREE!"

Ah, Tuesday… that magical day of week where I go to the store and ogle new DVDs I can't afford, but sometimes buy anyway.

Why is it the only junk e-mails that make it through all my spam filters are about penis enlargement and ED?