If you're anything at all like me, you're constantly prowling the internet looking for examples of other people being really, really stupid. Stupid people make me feel good about myself. Miss Teen South Carolina makes me feel so good, I'm like Superman on heroin.

I feel like now I need to celebrate or something. Public assery like that comes along less often than holidays.

Props (and love and sloppy kisses) to Bunny for encouraging me to look for this.

My house is apparently a nexus of death today.

• There's a squirrel squashed in the street in front of my house.

• The Bunny ran over a toad (or maybe it's a frog, I don't know) in the driveway.

• My neighbor killed a chipmunk in his garden with a rat trap.

• Some of my neighbors across the street have a fluffy white cat that was clipped crossing the street. (S)he limped the rest of the way across and died laying next to my porch.

 
If any of you should ever visit me, I might make you sign a liability waver. I'm no longer convinced I can guarantee your safety.