Category archives for Bush Family porn

Friday, June 23, 2006

Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.6

Changes: added new variables (bushPeople and bushThings arrays now have twenty variables; no more variables will be added), all arrays now completed

Download here: http://feastofcrumbs.com/downloads/bushpornv06.js (hotlinking disabled, use this on your own web space)

Or copy and paste these blocks into your document/template.

For your document <head>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
var bushPeople=new Array(
'George W. Bush ',
'Jenna Bush ',
'Barbara Bush ',
'Laura Bush ',
'Barney the dog ',
'Jeb Bush ',
'Columba Bush ',
'George P. Bush ',
'Jeb Bush Jr. ',
'Noelle Bush ',
'Neil Bush ',
'Lauren Bush ',
'Pierce Bush ',
'Ashley Bush ',
'Marvin Bush ',
'Marshall Bush ',
'Walker Bush ',
'Dorothy Bush ',
'Robert Bush ',
'Pauline Bush '
);
var bushActions=new Array(
'snelches ',
'snowballs ',
'cornholes ',
'teabags ',
'alligator slaps ',
'logjams ',
'bagpipes ',
'six-packs ',
'fists ',
'daisy chains ',
'dry humps ',
'fluffs ',
'hot plates ',
'KitKats ',
'monkey cups ',
'muppets ',
'Neopolitans ',
'circle jerks ',
'Picassos ',
'sherbet dips '
);
var bushThings=new Array(
'on a webcam',
'in the First Lady\'s box',
'midgets',
'horses',
'invalids',
'corpses',
'clowns',
'toothless old ladies',
'gay whales',
'altar boys',
'hermaphrodites',
'Britney Spears',
'Terry Schiavo',
'shemales',
'Smurfs',
'stray dogs',
'interns',
'foreign insurgents',
'hairy transvestites',
'small Asian men'
);
</script>

For your document <body>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<h2 class=\"sidebar-title\">Random Bush Family porn</h2><ul><li>" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "</li><li><a href=\"http://feastofcrumbs.com/blog/2006/06/random-bush-family-porn-generator-v06/\" title=\"A Feast of Crumbs: Random Bush Family porn generator v0.6\">Get your own copy</a></li></ul>");</script>

posted at 06/23/2006 08:26 am : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged

Thursday, February 9, 2006

Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.5

Changes: updated link, added new variables (bushActions array now has twenty variables; no more will be added to this array), removed <hr /> for better display on most blogs, new file download version

Download here: http://feastofcrumbs.com/downloads/bushpornv05.js (hotlinking disabled, use this on your own web space)

Or copy and paste these blocks into your document/template.

For your document <head>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
var bushPeople=new Array(
'George W. Bush ',
'Jenna Bush ',
'Barbara Bush ',
'Laura Bush ',
'Barney the dog ',
'Jeb Bush ',
'Columba Bush ',
'George P. Bush ',
'Jeb Bush Jr. ',
'Noelle Bush '
);
var bushActions=new Array(
'snelches ',
'snowballs ',
'cornholes ',
'teabags ',
'alligator slaps ',
'logjams ',
'bagpipes ',
'six-packs ',
'fists ',
'daisy chains ',
'dry humps ',
'fluffs ',
'hot plates ',
'KitKats ',
'monkey cups ',
'muppets ',
'Neopolitans ',
'circle jerks ',
'Picassos ',
'sherbet dips '
);
var bushThings=new Array(
'on a webcam',
'in the First Lady\'s box',
'midgets',
'horses',
'invalids',
'corpses',
'clowns',
'toothless old ladies',
'gay whales',
'altar boys',
'hermaphrodites',
'Britney Spears',
'Terry Schiavo',
'shemales',
'Smurfs',
'stray dogs'
);
</script>

For your document <body>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<h2 class=\"sidebar-title\">Random Bush Family porn</h2><ul><li>" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "</li><li><a href=\"http://feastofcrumbs.com/blog/2006/02/random-bush-family-porn-generator-v05/\" title=\"A Feast of Crumbs: Random Bush Family porn generator v0.5\">Get your own copy</a></li></ul>");</script>

posted at 02/09/2006 09:19 am : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged

Friday, January 27, 2006

Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.4

Note: newer version available here.

Changes: added a link to this post

For your document's <head>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
var bushPeople=new Array(
'George W. Bush ',
'Jenna Bush ',
'Barbara Bush ',
'Laura Bush ',
'Barney the dog ',
'Jeb Bush ',
'Columba Bush ',
'George P. Bush ',
'Jeb Bush Jr. ',
'Noelle Bush '
);
var bushActions=new Array(
'snelches ',
'snowballs ',
'cornholes ',
'teabags ',
'alligator slaps ',
'logjams ',
'bagpipes ',
'six-packs ',
'fists '
);
var bushThings=new Array(
'on a webcam',
'midgets',
'horses',
'invalids',
'corpses',
'clowns',
'toothless old ladies',
'gay whales',
'altar boys'
);
</script>

For your document's <body>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<h2 class=\"sidebar-title\">Random Bush Family porn</h2><ul><li>" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "</li><li><a href=\"http://feastofcrumbs.com/blog/2006/01/random-bush-family-porn-generator-v04/\" title=\"A Feast of Crumbs: Random Bush Family porn generator v0.4\">Get your own copy</a></li></ul><hr />");</script>

posted at 01/27/2006 11:01 am : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.3

Changes: added Jeb Bush and family, removed variable "poles dances" to resolve grammar problem, added spaces to the end of each variable in bushPeople and bushActions arrays, removed &nbsp; characters from document.write command to allow for more natural line breaks

For your document's <head>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
var bushPeople=new Array(
'George W. Bush ',
'Jenna Bush ',
'Barbara Bush ',
'Laura Bush ',
'Barney the dog ',
'Jeb Bush ',
'Columba Bush ',
'George P. Bush ',
'Jeb Bush Jr. ',
'Noelle Bush '
);
var bushActions=new Array(
'snelches ',
'snowballs ',
'cornholes ',
'teabags ',
'alligator slaps ',
'logjams ',
'bagpipes ',
'six-packs ',
'fists '
);
var bushThings=new Array(
'on a webcam',
'midgets',
'horses',
'invalids',
'corpses',
'clowns',
'toothless old ladies',
'gay whales',
'altar boys'
);
</script>

For your document's <body>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<h2 class=\"sidebar-title\">Random Bush Family porn</h2><ul><li>" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "</li></ul><hr />");</script>

posted at 01/25/2006 01:06 pm : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.2

A less obtrusive version, designed for the sidebar. For better search engine baiting, I added the Bush family's last names. I removed the section about conservative commentators to keep the script a little cleaner. I also added a bunch of keywords.

For the document <head>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
var bushPeople=new Array(
'George W. Bush',
'Jenna Bush',
'Barbara Bush',
'Laura Bush',
'Barney the dog'
);
var bushActions=new Array(
'humps',
'snelches',
'snowballs',
'cornholes',
'teabags',
'pole dances',
'alligator slaps',
'logjams',
'bagpipes',
'six-packs',
'fists'
);
var bushThings=new Array(
'on a webcam',
'midgets',
'horses',
'invalids',
'corpses',
'clowns',
'toothless old ladies',
'gay whales',
'altar boys'
);
</script>

For the document <body>:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<h2 class=\"sidebar-title\">Random Bush Family porn</h2><ul><li>" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + "&nbsp;" + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + "&nbsp;" + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "</li></ul>");</script>

And again, I'm open to suggestions.

posted at 01/24/2006 12:17 am : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Random Bush Family Porn Generator v0.1

GD had a kick ass idea. Random Bush porn in every post, which you'll see has now been implemented. This first release is a stable script, but needs more polish. Here's the code if you want it for yourself.

For the <head> section of your template:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">
 var bushPeople=new Array(
 'W.',
 'Jenna',
 'Barbara',
 'Laura',
 'Barney the dog'
 );
 var bushActions=new Array(
 'snelches',
 'snowballs',
 'cornholes',
 'teabags',
 'pole dances'
 );
 var bushThings=new Array(
 'a webcam',
 'midgets',
 'horses',
 'invalids',
 'corpses'
 );
 var bushTalkingHeads=new Array(
 'Ann Coulter',
 'Bill O\'Reilly',
 'Rush Limbaugh',
 'Sean Hannity',
 'Michelle Malkin'
 );
</script>

For the <body> section of your template:

<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">document.write( "<br /><br /><br /><br />Random Bush Family porn\:&nbsp;&nbsp;" + bushPeople[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushPeople.length-1)) ] + "&nbsp;" + bushActions[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushActions.length-1)) ] + "&nbsp;with&nbsp;" + bushThings[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushThings.length-1)) ] + "&nbsp;and&nbsp;" + bushTalkingHeads[  Math.round(Math.random()*(bushTalkingHeads.length-1)) ]);</script>

You can adjust the number of <br /> tags to create the desired spacing. You can remove them completely if you like.

Feedback welcome. Danny, anything you'd like to add?

posted at 01/23/2006 04:56 pm : Permalink
Categorized Bush Family porn, Geekery : Tagged