You're so ugly when you play hide and seek, no one looks for you.

You're so fat your blood type is Ragu.

Your dad's so stupid he sold the car for gas money.

You're so dumb it takes you two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

You're so poor you go to KFC to lick other people's fingers.

You're so clumsy you sleep on the floor and still fall out of bed.

Your teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.

Your acne is so bad tears need four wheel drive to get down your face.

You're so dumb you got athlete's foot so you could run faster.

You're so skinny you look like a ski pole with hair.