Category archives for Snippets

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes. You know, now and then.

So it turns out the Nintendo Wii is a bigger hit than the Sony PlayStation 3. International Herald Tribune reports:

The competitive picture became clearer Tuesday, when Sony reported disappointing profits that industry analysts attributed largely to the shaky rollout of the PlayStation 3 and lukewarm demand for the complex machines.

By contrast, Nintendo said last week that its own third-quarter sales were up 40 percent from a year earlier, buoyed by Wii sales. Both consoles were hard to come by during the holiday shopping season. This week, visits to stores throughout the United States turned up several with PlayStation 3's in stock, while the Wii was sold out.

And further:

Nintendo recently announced that during the holiday quarter, it shipped 3.2 million Wii consoles and sold 17.5 million games. Sony said it shipped 1.84 million PlayStation 3's in the quarter, and sold 5.2 million copies of game software for the console.

Nintendo might sell even more Wiis if it could just make and ship more of them. Company officials said they were shipping around a million worldwide every month, half of those to the United States, but retailers have said they cannot keep them in stock.

I totally called that.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

It's Marion!

[Bunny's in the bathroom, singing Boston's "More Than a Feeling."]

Bunny: …I see my Mary Ann walking away…

Me: Hm? What?

Bunny: What, what?

Me: Did you just say "Mary Ann?"

Bunny: Uh… yeah.

Me: I'm pretty sure it's "Marion."

Bunny: No, it's not. It's "Mary Ann."

Me: You're so wrong. It's "Marion."

Bunny: Should we look it up?

Me: No.

Bunny: Because you know you're wrong.

Me: Not at all. I agree it sounds like it could be "Mary Ann," but it's not. A lot of those lyrics sources are going to be wrong. If you look at ten, five will say "Marion" and five will say "Mary Ann."

Bunny: Oh. Well then let's just look up the ones that agree with me.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Don't think so!

[Sunday afternoon]

The Chicken: (At the computer) Mom?

Bunny: Yeah?

Chicken: How do you spell "dead body?"

Bunny: What?

Chicken: How do you spell "dead body?"

Me: Why do you want to know?

Chicken: Just tell me how to spell it.

Bunny: D-E-A…

Chicken: One letter at a time! D… E… A…

Bunny: D… space… B-O-D-Y

Chicken: D-E-A-D… B-O-D-Y

Bunny: And then if you want "bodies," it's B-O-D-I-E-S.

Me: Chicken.

Chicken: Yeah, Dad?

Me: Why do you want to know?

Chicken: I'm going to look for pictures of dead bodies on the internet.

Me: Um, NO!

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Story time

[Last night]

The Chicken: Ooh, Dad! Turn back a page!

Me: No, buddy, it's late enough. We need to finish this quickly so you can get to sleep.

Chicken: Dad, I saw Santa's reindeer!

Me: No you didn't.

Chicken: Yes I did! Turn back and I'll show you.

Me: Those weren't reindeer.

Chicken: Yeah, then what were they?

Me: Raccoons.

Chicken: There aren't any raccoons in Christmas stories!

Me: Sure there are.

Chicken: Nuh-uh!

Me: Haven't you ever heard the legend of the magical Christmas raccoons?

Chicken: … … … for real?

Me: heh.

Chicken: Dad! Quit teasing me!

Monday, December 4, 2006

Hot chocolate homos (Updated)

Me: Hey…

The Bunny: Yeah?

Me: You remember the other day when you got your feathers ruffled over the "dirty little hoo-er" who offered to mail me Preacher DVDs?

Bunny: Yeah.

Me: I was getting caught up on my comments this morning.

Bunny: Yeah?

(silence)

Bunny: It was a guy who left that comment, wasn't it?

Me: Yup.

(silence)

Bunny: Dirty little homo.

Update: Bunny wants to make sure no one gets the wrong impression about her. Bunny is world-class smart ass, but is not a homophobe. Not at all. Not even a little. Bunny wants you all to know she is pro-homo. She loves the gays.

 
 

The Chicken: Dad, don't forget you're going to make me hot chocolate.

Me: I didn't forget.

Chicken: Are you going to do it now?

Me: Yes, I'm going to do it now.

Chicken: Can I have it in a coffee cup?

Me: Yeah, sure.

(several minutes later)

Me: Here's the hot chocolate.

Chicken: Dad!

Me: What?

Chicken: I asked for a coffee cup!

Me: Yeah. It's in a coffee cup.

Chicken: That's a coffee mug.

(pause)

Me: Would you like to eat that coffee mug?

(pause)

Chicken: Um… coffee mug will be fine.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Um… what?

The Chicken: Dad?

Me: Hmm?

Chicken: Can I dress you up as a giant pickle?

Me: Um… no.

Chicken: Oh. Ok.

Me: How did you come up with that idea?

Chicken: I don't know. Doesn't it sound fun?

Me: Not so much for me.

(pause)

Chicken: I thought it sounded fun.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Bitch tits

Me: Hey, Meat Loaf is on the Today show.

The Bunny: Yeah?

Me: He's still cool.

Bunny: I'm not sure "cool" is the word I'd use.

Me: He was always kind of tubby and goofy, but at least he used to be a fireball rock 'n roller.

Bunny: When did you first become attracted to Meat Loaf? Was it after you saw his boobs in Fight Club?

(pause)

Me: Those are his "bitch tits."

Monday, October 16, 2006

Bring a straw

[This is really nasty. You probably shouldn't read it.]

More »

Monday, October 2, 2006

She's so busted

The Chicken: Dad?

Me: Yeah?

Chicken: Have you ever gone to that bar named "Pete's Place?"

Me: Once or twice.

Chicken: Did you ever see any drugs there?

Me: No.

Chicken: Mom says there are drugs there.

Me: I wouldn't really know. I never saw anything like that, but I've only been there once or twice. I never liked the atmosphere. It's not my kind of place.

Chicken: Mom says she never wanted to go in there until she found out there are drugs there.

Me: hahaha! I think you got that backwards, Chicken. Mom hasn't wanted to go there since she found out there are drugs there.

Chicken: Oh. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

World's most cryptic phone call*

Bird: Hello?

Me: Yo.

Bird: Yep.

Me: Cool.

Bird: Farmer's?

Me: I love you.

Bird: heh.

Me: Bye.

 

*Also world's dumbest blog post