via I can has cheezburger?
I know, I know. I don't have a proper post for a week and I roll with an image I swiped from somewhere else. I'm so lame.
But I'm ok with that. I'm embracing it.
Tag archives for Britney Spears
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Leave Britney alone! (part 2)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Leave Britney Alone!
Chris Crocker is hilarious. That is all.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Today in stupidity
Everyone's heard about this one, I'm sure, so I'll get it out of the way first.
A woman eating chile at a San Jose Wendy's was more than a little surprised to find part of a human finger in her food. The finger appeared to be that of a woman, as it included part of a manicured nail.
That's what you get when you order from the dollar menu.
***
Russian newspaper Pravda reports that ass whuppings may be able to cure addiction and depression. The article cites a report titled "Methods of painful impact to treat addictive behavior." Siberian scientists have determined that whipping people 30 times per session for 60 sessions improves people's overall happiness.
I can't help but wonder if the Russian government has started "reeducating deviants" again.
***
Word has it that Britney Spears has started job training at the fast food restaurant owned by her father. She's learning to make smoothies for her summer job, and is apparently excited about her waitressing uniform.
What the hell is the matter with this woman? Has Kevin drugged her or something?
***
In Tokyo a man hijacked a bus bound for the airport. He was unarmed, but drunkenly demanded the driver take him to… the airport.
I hope they jail him just on principle.
***
Officials at the Beijing airport recently purchased an American-made scarecrow machine. The machine is designed to periodically play recordings of predatory birds to keep local birds away from the flightline.
The machine works as advertised, but the Beijing birds don't fear the calls of North American birds of prey. Local experts are at work "translating bird screams to Chinese."
The new bird screams are undergoing tests.
***
Celine Dion told reporters that many people attending her Las Vegas performances are either sleepy, sick, or drunk.
The lighting at her Vegas shows must be different than what she's used to, because I'm pretty sure all her shows have been like this and she's only now started noticing.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Flash! Britney still stupid!
Britney Spears has gone on record to give Michael Jackson a bit of advice.
She seems to think a drunken bar fight is exactly what he needs.
That's gotta be the worst advice I've ever heard. Michael Jackson is probably the only guy in the world that could lose a fight to Kip "I'm training to be a cage fighter" Dynamite.
Unless of course she was talking about break dance fighting.
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
Alas, how the mighty have fallen
Today I stumbled onto a story about Britney Spears. She's set to pose topless for photos for Allure magazine.
I wanted to find out more, so I went to Google's News website. (In case you haven't used it, Google News is a fantastic aggregate of thousands of different news sources.)
I used the search function to query "Britney Spears topless" and was shocked by the number of returns. There were 5.
To give you something with which to compare that, I made several other queries.
Here are my results:
Robert Blake trial - 2570 returns
Jay Leno gag order - 511 returns
Paris Hilton sidekick - 432 returns
Petra Nemcova tsunami - 124 returns
Peter Stomare creepy - 15 returns
Timothy Olyphant movie - 10 returns
Martin Denny waikiki - 9 returns
Britney Spears topless - 5 returns
Kirstie Alley fatty - 4 returns
(Google aggregates every 15 minutes. You'll get different search results at different times, so if you try it, your numbers won't match mine.)
So few news sources are carrying the Britney story, I wasn't able to find a single U.S. source.
Could it be she's nearing her 15th minute of fame?