I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head.
…the day I box up shit to take back to the store.
You remember me telling you last week that my mother called looking for gift ideas for me? She suggested "Serenity." I told her I was planning on buying it that very day. She told me not to buy it, so that she could buy it for me instead.
Remember when I told you I'll lay odds I'd be buying Serenity for myself on the 26th?
It's the 26th. Guess what I bought myself this morning?
Why in heaven's name did I buy this for The Chicken? The whole point of Lego is building things. Yet he has no interest in building this. He just wants to play with the finished product. Which of course means that I assembled this for him. Actual Dad assembly time: three hours. Actual Chicken play time before first break: three minutes.
For future Christmases, buy The Chicken presents that require less adult assistance, like a carburetor rebuild kit.
I got my first present today. A customer of mine always gives me a card and a ten spot. Every year. Which is nice, because she's a colossal pest the rest of the year. Lots of people send my bosses cards and presents. This woman is the only one who ever sends one to me.
She wrote:
Thanks Fish for all the help during the past year.
Annie
Nice. Very nice. It's enough to thaw my frozen Grinchy heart, for a little while anyway.
If anyone was thinking of buying me a present this year, please consider getting me a mistletoe belt buckle. I've always wanted one of those.
The Bunny: Have you given any more thought to what we should get Goat and Bird for Christmas?
Me: No, none at all.
Bunny: I should take a trip down to… umm… what's their nuts.
Me: Ah, yes, good ol' what's their nuts.
Bunny: Yeah.
(silence)
Me: Uh, ok then.
She wanted ideas for what to buy me for Christmas. I really don't want any gifts, so I protested. She was insistent.
She prodded me through a list of recently released DVDs until she had several possibilities.
When she suggested "Serenity" I told her I was going to go buy that one today. She told me not to. But then she continued digging possibilities anyway.
I'll lay odds that I'll be buying Serenity on the 26th.
Because The Chicken's Christmas program at his school is now officially the cutest thing ever!
At 12:45 I left work (Goat is the coolest boss) to pick up The Bunny and head to his school. It almost wasn't worth driving. We had to park so far away that we almost could have walked. (Not really, but still.)
Today's program was just kindergarten and second grade, and the kindergarten kids were first. So, lucky me.
The 60 or so K kids filed in through a side door in the gym and took their places. They shuffled in place and looked nervous. When they were all settled, the music teacher got their attention and led them through six songs and three "finger plays."
The kids barely knew the words, were all off key, never sang together, missed every single cue, and fumbled their hand gestures.
It was absolutely adorable.
[Ed. note: republished from my former team blog.]
Here's a fun idea… what might we get each other for Christmas?
I totally want to get one of these.
A pan to make his very own cake… on a stick.