So, about this contest. When I called the contest, I was expecting at most maybe a half-dozen entries. And several of those would probably be devoted to insulting me.

Instead there were thirty-six entries from thirteen people, and sixteen entries just from Blog Kris. This thing turned out to be huge. I got over 400 hits on Thursday. And enough people have started linking to me that I'm no longer too embarrassed to list my TTLB Ecosystem standing over in the sidebar. Because of the larger than expected response, I've decided to award two prizes.

The Grand Prize winner is -G.D. for her entry:

Came into my nook.
He gently tossed my salad.
Then ate it as his dinner.

This entry really makes me want to toss her salad. It's so subtle. It's delicate. It's nuanced. There's actual tenderness there. So she gets the advertised prize. She gets to pick a photo to be displayed in my profile for one week.

Runner-up is Blog Kris. He will get to choose a picture to be displayed in my profile for three days.

Blog Kris's winning entry is:

Oh how it tickles
Sensitive and wonderful
Sphincter clenches up

You know, I'm not even sure if that's his best submission. None of them are real stand-outs. But when you view all of his posts together, he put forth one hell of an effort.

So, here's how it will work. -G.D. gets the first go. Her week will begin as soon as she gets me a picture. Blog Kris will go next. His three days will begin immediately after -g.d.'s.

The two winners can e-mail me their picture, post it to their blog for me to copy, or send me a URL. The only limit I will place on this is that the picture may not be "overly" profane. Seriously, this picture is going to be front and center for people to stumble on randomly. Screen captures of porn movies just wouldn't be right… Blog Kris.

I'd also like to give Honorable Mentions to these entries:

-G.D. for Best Use of Current Events
I lost my finger
while tossing a good salad
over at Wendy's.

Blog Kris for Most Blatant Pimping of His Sister To Win A Lame Prize
My sister likes it
when she feels a slippery
tongue against her butt.

Blog Kris for Only Use of All Three Bonus People
Neither merkley??? nor
The Four Fingered Magician
Can toss like Ann can.

The Winged Pig for Best Use of Made-Up Words
Ann Coulterain
homoginized brown lipstick
derailed saladizer

Chevalier for Best Reminder of Jay and Silent Bob
Sweets and sour, yum!
The salad bar is open
Toss a good one, bung!

merkley??? for Best Use of merkley???
Tossing salad well:
for merkley???'s secret dressing.
pump the pump for Ranch.

dusti for Best Haiku That Completely Forgets To Include Tossed Salads
Ann Coulter she-fiend
wants us all to think she's smart
but she is still blonde.

And finally, Sister (and Keeks) for Only Haiku That Includes A Nature Reference
A haiku is from
nature. So you should toss the
salad outside, duh.

I think that wraps everything up. Well, except for the week and a half of everyone pointing and laughing at my profile.

That was fun. Let's do it again.

In a year or two.