So the other day I'm at the pool [full disclosure: it was actually about two months ago and I'm just now getting around to writing about it] and I'm doing laps. After my usual 10 lap routine, I stopped and I looked up. Man, all I can say was, salt and pepper has never been sexier. Not even the real salt and pepper can top that. Not that I think that real salt and pepper is sexy, mind you. He looks exactly like John Slattery, with more pepper and less salt. If I have to describe him in two words, it'll be: fucking hot.

Before I go any further, I need to tell you that I'm still working on my butterfly stroke. I just learned it all by myself by observation. Hence it doesn't look that good. In fact, it looks quite retarded. John Slattery lookalike on the other hand, is a professional amateur swimmer.

So, after giving him the 'look', I went back to swimming. 3 laps later, I looked up, and he's gone.

"Damn it!"

Turns out, he has gotten back into the water. I found him 2 lanes down. I continued giving him the look, and I caught him going under water checking me out as I swam away. Bingo!

20 minutes later, I'm done. I got out of the pool, he followed. I took a quick shower, he did too. Man he was H-A-W-T! Did I mention that I had to take a cold shower just to keep my little brother from waking up?

Cut to me leaving the gym. I was walking so slow, people were giving me weird looks. Finally, John Slattery lookalike caught up with me.

Him: "Hey, how are you doing?"

Me: "Good."

More small talks followed.

Him: "Where you going now?"

Me: "I'm going home. What about you?"

Him: "Me too. I live on the north side, about 15 minutes walk away. You wanna come over?"

Me, thinking: "Damn. Am I really ready for gay sex with a complete stranger? Hmm. No. No, I'm not. And besides, this is Snakey's story."

Ok, ok… none of that stuff actually happened. Well, it did, it just didn't happen to me. I stole part of Snakey's post (with permission even!) because something happened to me that really reminded me of that post. You should go read that post. Hot gay sex.

Anyway, I was in the pool at my health club. The Kid was with me. We were swimming and splashing and playing. Very ordinary stuff. The pool is vaguely U-shaped, with two shallow areas on the sides of a peninsula of sorts. It's on this peninsula that there's usually a lifeguard sitting.

The Kid got out of the pool for a few minutes and went over to one of the bins to sort through water toys looking for a few diving sticks. While he was out of the water, I was kind of hanging off the end of this peninsula watching him. The lifeguard was sitting on a folding chair near my line of sight. I wasn't looking at her, but I was kind of looking in her general direction.

As The Kid starts walking back, I glanced at the lifeguard. We made eye contact. Our eyes locked for just a second… and she spread her legs about six inches wider.

What the hell was that all about? That seemed such an obvious pass, I know I must be reading it wrong. I was looking past her at The Kid. Did she think I was staring? Was she saying, "Busted! Get a good look, you pig!" Was she saying, "Take me now, you gorgeous hunk of man flesh?" Was it some coincidence?

I really had no idea how to take that. And given the fact that this girl is probably a high school student, and half my age, I was frankly a little unnerved. So I gave a small smile, helped The Kid back into the water, and we went back to what we were doing.

I spent the rest of our time in the pool trying to look anywhere but at the teenage lifeguard.

When we were ready to leave, we went back to the locker room to shower. We took two spots in the corner, took our trunks off, and did our best to scrub away the chlorine smell.

We were there for a few minutes when I man I know came in from the other side of the shower room. He's a business associate of mine, about 60 years old, nice guy. He saw me, nodded, and gave a little smile. I said hi and went back to washing.

The Kid and I finished up, rinsed our swim trunks, and started for the lockers. As I was just about to pass by him, the man dropped his bar of soap. He then turned away from me and bent at the waist to pick it up. Apparently the soap was slippery because he held that pose for a few seconds while he fumbled trying to pick it up. Or pick something up anyway.

I was standing there with a nude child and he blocked the doorway to show me his brown eye. What the hell was that all about? I thought that kind of thing only happened in prison movies. And to Snakehead. No… that can't possibly have been what it seemed. It must have been a coincidence.

Fortunately, I was able to get out of that place without being propositioned by a platoon of great-grandmothers. If just one of these things had happened, I would've thought nothing of it. I might not have even remembered to mention it at all. But both of those? On the same night? A high school girl and an 60-something man? I couldn't get an in between, a happy medium?

I have no idea what to make of this, but I'm pretty sure it's somehow Snakey's fault.