Around twenty minutes ago I was standing in my driveway next to the car having a cigarette before work. I was standing there puffing away when I felt that discomforting feeling in my naughty bits.

I needed to adjust.

I shifted my weight from one leg to the other a few times. No joy.

I pulled at my pant leg a bit. No joy.

I looked around. No one was nearby. I grabbed and tried to adjust manually. No joy. This was serious. Some real hands-on attention was required.

I looked around again. There was no one. So I pulled my waistband out a bit and went diving. A moment later all was once again right with my world. I pulled my hand out of my underwear and looked around a third time.

There was a little old lady walking her dog across the street. She was staring at me with a look that can best be described as, "What the hell is the matter with you, you hideous mutant freak?"

I waved at her and returned to my cigarette.

Ten minutes later I was at the mini-mart near my office to get juice and milk for my hangover Thursday breakfast. I don't know if it was new or if I'd never noticed it before but my eyes were drawn to a giant sign plastered on the side of the carwash next door:

The Quickie

$3.00

I really don't know what to make of that.

It's going to be a strange day.