Once upon a time, there lived a grand knight named Sir Pimpin' von Fish. Sir Fish, as he was known, dwelt in the United Kingdom of Sofa, TV and Beer.

One day, when Sir Fish returned to his castle after a day of herding bits, the Queen Regent, Her Royal Highness Bunny, came to Sir Fish with a request. The Queen said to Sir Fish, "I would dispatch you on a quest, brave knight. It is my wish that you should take the prince of the realm, Pants of Chicken, to the land of Health Club. I desire for him to swim, that he might have exercise and learn A Healthy Lifestyle. What say you, Sir Fish?"

Sir Fish did not think well of this idea. The United Kingdom of Sofa, TV and Beer has a sofa, a TV and beer, while the land of Health Club has none of these things. But Sir Fish desired above all things that the kingdom should be tranquil and harmonious and so he agreed to his queen's request.

After the evening feast of pizza, Sir Fish and Prince Chicken mounted their noble steed, which was known far and wide as Stratus of '99 Dodge, and journeyed to the far away land of Health Club. There Sir Fish and Prince Chicken swam in cool waters and played a local game known as "water basketball." Prince Chicken was well pleased and very contented. Sir Fish even made time to relax in the soothing hot spring of Whirlpool.

Before returning to their kingdom, Sir Fish and Prince Chicken washed themselves of the foul chemical "chlorine," for which Health Club is well known. It is customary that pilgrims to the land of Health Club should partake of such cleansing while disrobed and in a communal area. It is in this place that Sir Fish met the Angry Mushroom.

Sir Fish was washing his mighty armpit when he glanced at one of the other pilgrims and saw something both strange and ugly. Where his knightly staff should have been, this pilgrim instead had a mushroom, and an angry, menacing mushroom at that.

Sir Fish had heard of such things before. Tales of Angry Mushrooms, known to some as uncircumcised penises, were widespread. Sir Fish had never before seen an Angry Mushroom and had always wondered if perhaps they were merely legend. Sir Fish had no choice but to believe the stories now, for how could he deny what was before him?

The Angry Mushroom, peeking out of the tangled Black Bramble Forest, stared at Sir Fish. Sir Fish looked away. When he looked back again he found the Angry Mushroom still staring. Sir Fish weaved from side to side but the Angry Mushroom followed him with its Great Eye. Sir Fish was certain the Angry Mushroom was in some way challenging him. Sir Fish finished rinsing and scurried his noble ass on out of there.

Sir Fish and Prince Chicken dried themselves and donned their armor quickly. On their way to the stable, Sir Fish encountered the Angry Mushroom again. The Angry Mushroom was still staring at him. As they walked away, the Angry Mushroom winked at Sir Fish. "Hurry back, sailor," it seemed to say.

Sir Fish and Prince Chicken took to their steed and returned to the United Kingdom of Sofa, TV and Beer where, delightfully free of winking Angry Mushrooms, they lived happily ever after.