So I'm finally concluding a several weeks long odyssey of desire and deprivation by sitting here listening to Rod Stewart's "Maggie May." For weeks I've been craving this song, but until this morning I've only considered it when I've not been able to hear it.

At the movies: "I should listen to 'Maggie May.' "

At work: "Ooh, I could really go for 'Maggie May.' I wonder if I should download LimeWire or something on my workstation?"

In the car: "I wish they'd play 'Maggie May.' "

In a store: "You know, Bunny, I've really been craving 'Maggie May.' "

Lying in bed last night: "Dammit! I keep forgetting to listen to 'Maggie May!' Should I get out of bed and do that now?"

Well, finally I'm listening to it. This brings me to an uncomfortable realization. I don't really like "Maggie May." It's a decent song but it's not all that. It's got a solid opening, but it's all downhill after the first line of the vocals. Actually, now that I think about it, the opening isn't very good either. The classical guitar is just fine, but it feels really out of place. So what I really mean is that the sounds that pour out of my speakers between the forty-fifth and fifty-fifth seconds are just excellent. I could do without all the rest of it.

I've been obsessing over ten seconds. I guess I'm willing to tolerate the five minutes, thirty-nine seconds that make up the rest of it.

Our collective hive mind has decided that "Maggie May" is a classic. And I suppose it is, if for no other reason than it's thirty-five years old and people still listen to it. Or at least they still listen to ten seconds of it. Is ten seconds enough to make a song a classic? Can a song really be a classic if it sucks, except for the part that doesn't?