So this guy Mikey stopped by my office to drop off a computer today. I've known Mikey for about five years. But I've hated him for about ten years. I'll explain.

About ten years ago I was between girlfriends and my best friend was a young woman named Sally. To say "best friend" may not be entirely accurate. Maybe instead I should say "girl I hung out with and tried unsuccessfully to sleep with."

Sally had a boyfriend she was very happy with, so I never got very far with my sloppy, casual attempts at seduction. And I was ok with that. Sally was a cool friend and a lot of fun to hang out with. I was content with not sleeping with her. Besides, I really liked her boyfriend too.

Until she ended up blowing Mikey.

Mikey was (is?) a friend of Sally's boyfriend, Bryce. Mikey and Sally ended up hanging one afternoon while waiting for Bryce. Bryce was very late. Mikey ended up getting a little action while they were waiting.

Being bestest pals, Sally told me all about this. "It's just kind of happened," she said. I never let on, but I was quietly pissed. If she was going to cheat on Bryce, why cheat with that dopey guy Mikey instead of me?

I long ago moved past wanting Sally, but I'm still jealous that Mikey got some of that and I didn't. And the way Sally described it, it seemed so effortless, while I was actually trying for it, albeit rather lazily.

Alright. I'm done grumbling. I'm going to go break Mikey's computer now.*

*Not really, but it's a fun thought.