I'm something of a stat junkie. I've got to check in on things at least once a day to see who's linking to me, where my visitors are coming from, and what kind of search engine terms people are using to find me. Last night I checked in and found a hit that was a little unsettling. Someone would up here in a search for child pornography. Well, probably. The search term was "kid sex blog."
First, doesn't it strike you as really stupid to use a search engine to look for kiddie porn?
Second, do we as bloggers have a responsibility to report hits like these? I saved all the info I have about this visitor. I'm not sure if I should do anything with it.
posted at 11/14/2006 08:50 am : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged child pornography, search engine
(Or at least the best hit lately.)
I'm no stranger to weird hits. I usually get around 15 or 20 hits a day for everything from "why california sucks" to "webcam midgets." A lot of my hits are entertaining, but I seldom post about them. I must make an exception for this one. It's too good to not share.
I'm currently #8 on Google for colin farrell nutsack picture.
posted at 07/21/2006 11:35 pm : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged Colin Farrell, search engine
What the hell is with those TV commercials for Ask.com? Does anyone actually believe that Ask.com is better, faster, or more reliable than Google (or A9 or Yahoo or MSN or whatever) just because the homely guy with the accent says so?
I saw one last night where the guy was using a bear attack as an important search. He then suggested something like, "If you're actually being attacked by a bear, you probably shouldn't be using any search engine, but if you did Ask.com would give you the best results."
I disagree. Well, I disagree with the who has the best search. I agree completely with not using a search engine while being attacked by a bear.
Search Google for bear attack. Result #2: Survive a bear attack.
Search Ask for bear attack. Result #4: Bear attack survival.
Ok, so who really gives a rat's ass? The real reason I'm annoyed is because I used to be active on the old ask.com (I mean the domain, not the company). Ask.com used to be a user-operated advice site. If you had a question on anything, from agriculture to zoology, they would have a forum and a pile of friendly volunteer experts for it. For a while I was involved enough that I climbed to the highest rated expert spot in the PC Tech Support category. I was even getting paid for my efforts.
Then the domain sold. Fucking Michael Douglas. 'sokay, I was pretty bored with it anyway. But still, it bums me out that it's gone. It's now a mediocre search engine with a bad haired spokesman.
posted at 05/25/2006 08:26 am : Permalink
Categorized Geekery, Music, movies, books, TV : Tagged Michael Douglas, search engine
Look quick. I'm currently #2 on MSN Search for laura bush humping midgets.
I wonder how that happened. heh.
posted at 01/23/2006 03:55 pm : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged Laura Bush, search engine
Have you read about the gub'ment snooping around in search engine records? Apparently BushCo needs that information to keep us safe from boobies.
Eric Schmeltzer at HuffPo has a fantastic idea:
I suggest everyone immediately hit AOL, MSN, and Yahoo!, and repeatedly do a search for "Laura Bush humping midgets."
Let's see how long the President wants to keep monitoring our web searches after that.
I am so there.
posted at 01/20/2006 04:33 pm : Permalink
Categorized Huh?, News : Tagged civil liberties, Laura Bush, search engine
Hapless woman: Did you get it fixed so I can go on the internet again?
Me: Yes, I did. It's working just fine now.
Hapless woman: What was wrong with it?
Me: You threw the fan belt on your search engine.
Hapless woman: Really?
(pause)
Me: Yes, really.
posted at 12/27/2005 01:49 pm : Permalink
Categorized At work, Snippets : Tagged computer repair, search engine
Another search engine hit, this one maybe the weirdest EVER.
lick OR sniff OR worship "smelly armpit" -she -her -girl -woman. That's an uncommonly specific search. And I am currently #1 on Google for this.
posted at 12/17/2005 01:03 am : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged search engine
Tonight I got my first search engine hit on this blog.
I'm currently #8 on Google for need to masturbate and eat.
How does Google know everything?
posted at 12/08/2005 02:04 am : Permalink
Categorized Geekery : Tagged search engine
Through the blogging world an unholy alliance has formed.
The authors of three blogs,
Ann Coulter Tossed My Salad, Nothing in Particular, and Think Bacon,
have joined forces in a venture of self-amusement
with the goal of exposing the strangeness of the internet.
Due to low traffic on their blogs,
these three are able to spend time actually looking at incoming stats.
What they have seen from the search engines confounds and amuses them.
So they set to documenting this madness for all to see.
The beast that has been born is…
Refer Madness
posted at 06/03/2005 08:30 am : Permalink
Categorized Ancient history, Geekery : Tagged search engine
Because I know you all really love these, here's more search engine goodness.
My power as The Tossed Salad Man is growing. I am now number one on Google and number five on Yahoo! for who is the tossed salad man? Everything is proceeding according to plan.
Straight out of left field comes spider repugnant smell. (Amazingly, number one on Google Canada.) I'm guessing somewhere in Canada is a person who really needs to see a doctor about a spider bite.
I have now become a premier destination for information on freshwater crustaceans. At least according to Google, where I am number eight for what's the difference between crayfish and crawdaddies?
Today someone thought this blog was a good place to stop in his quest for an ANN COULTER fuck doll. (Number four on Google.)
And my new favorite of the moment, I am number six on Google for this is not the salad of my people.
How does anilingus fit into kosher diet rules anyway? You can toss a salad, but not with cheese?
UPDATE: I've got another to add to this. This is possibly the scariest search engine hit ever. I am number five on Google for initials carved in flesh with soldering iron. It frightens me that people are looking for this. It frightens me more that people are looking to me for this.
posted at 05/16/2005 01:43 pm : Permalink
Categorized Ancient history, Geekery : Tagged search engine