You see anything in the news about the mayor of San Fransisco getting caught with his dick in someone else's wife?
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's re-election campaign manager resigned Wednesday after confronting the mayor about an affair Newsom had with his wife while she worked in the mayor's office, City Hall sources said.
Alex Tourk, 39, who served as Newsom's deputy chief of staff before becoming his campaign manager in September, confronted the mayor after his wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, told him of the affair as part of a rehabilitation program she had been undergoing for substance abuse…
Whoops.
You know, I really don't care about San Fransisco politics. Hearing people call Newsome things like "the next great progressive leader" really pricks up my ears, but I still just can't be bothered to pay attention to the guy. At least until someone mentions sex.
Gavin Newsome is kind of hot. He's a handsome man and a rising star, so he's got definite player potential. After all, here he is with two women trying to marry him:
So the guy can't go to the john without tripping over a willing woman. What kind of women does he choose? Here's his ex-secretary, Ruby Rippey-Tourk:
Nice! She's pretty. I can see why Gavin liked her. But what about his wife? From what was Newsome walking away when he got involved with Blondie there? Here's his ex-wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle:
Holy fuckbuckets! So… Newsome was married… to a guy in drag? He was in the process of divorcing Butch when he got involved with Blondie?
I so forgive him.
posted at 02/05/2007 08:02 am : Permalink
Categorized News, Photo foolishness : Tagged Gavin Newsome, scandal, sex
Today in stupidity (ok, last week Wednesday in stupidity and I didn't find the article until today): Sex cues ruin men's decisiveness.
Catching sight of a pretty woman really is enough to throw a man's decision-making skills into disarray, a study suggests.
Well fucking duh.
posted at 04/24/2006 04:22 pm : Permalink
Categorized News : Tagged decisiveness, sex
You know that whole "I will never again get laid in the living room" business? Umm… never mind.
posted at 03/27/2006 10:02 pm : Permalink
Categorized General : Tagged sex
Well, we really dodged a bullet Saturday night. The Chicken more or less caught The Bunny and me fucking. Not having sex, not making love. We were fucking. In the living room.
As we finished off, Bunny glanced over toward the kitchen and saw Chicken raiding the refrigerator. Apparently he bypassed the living room and went straight to the kitchen. For which I'm eternally thankful. Having my five year-old tap me on the shoulder mid-coitus would have ruined my evening in so many ways.
Once we saw that he was awake and downstairs we bundled up with blankets and went to see what he was doing. He was so out of sorts he might have been sleepwalking. I asked a bunch of questions like, "Are you thirsty?" and "What are you doing, buddy?" He didn't answer any of them. He just kind of stood there weaving a little with his eyes half open.
We got him back to bed and then Bunny and I talked about it for a bit. In the end we decided that seeing his parents in the midst of passion is better than seeing his parents in the midst of a fight. There are far worse things for a five year-old to see.
The next morning he had no memory of any of it. Given the path he took to the refrigerator, there's a fair chance he didn't see anything untoward anyway. So in the end everything worked out just fine.
Except for one thing. I can virtually guarantee that I will never again get laid in the living room.
posted at 03/27/2006 01:21 pm : Permalink
Categorized General : Tagged Bunny, Chicken, sex
Ron (a colleague): What's this?
Me: What?
Ron: This. It says "gender changer."
Me: Don't bother buying that, Ron. You'll still need to see that doctor in Switzerland.
Ron: Smartass. I mean look at it; it connects a female cable to a female cable. It's not changing anything.
Me: But it does allow you to connect two female cables together, something you normally can't do.
Ron: Whoopie.
Me: It's the double-ended dildo of the cabling world.
Ron: Haha. It's like a Singapore salad.
(pause)
Ron: Never heard of that?
Me: Nope.
Ron: In Singapore fifty dollars American will get you two hours with two women and a cucumber.
posted at 03/02/2006 02:17 pm : Permalink
Categorized At work, Snippets : Tagged computer repair, Ron, sex
ABC News headline: Sleep Is the New Sex
To paraphrase an old joke, either I don't know how to sleep or they don't know how to fuck.
posted at 02/09/2006 04:41 pm : Permalink
Categorized Huh?, News : Tagged sex, sleep
From Slate:
Good places for curious adolescents to experiment with sex: backseat of dad's Volvo, under musty tarp in garage, last row of movie theater. Bad places for curious adolescents to experiment with sex: Wednesday night PTA meeting, choir practice, Kansas.
posted at 02/03/2006 09:25 am : Permalink
Categorized Huh?, News : Tagged Kansas, sex
So I prefer to wake up in stages, right? I've got to use the snooze. I'm not one of those people that can just bounce out of bed wide awake and ready to take on the world. Oh no. That's not how I roll.
I have two alarm clocks. One of them is set for 6:05, the other for 6:12. Both alarms have a seven minute snooze.
Scientist types say we dream nearly every time we sleep. I'll have to take their word for it, because I rarely remember my dreams. When I do remember them, it's usually connected to those seven minute snooze naps I take every weekday morning.
So this morning the 6:05 alarm went off. I got up, crossed the room, hit the snooze, and crawled back into bed.
I dreamt I was in a bedroom (not mine.) There was a beautiful woman in lingerie giving me that look. So in my dream I was thinking, "Go shorty, it's yo birfday…"
The alarm went off. Hit the snooze. Back to bed.
Back in the dream, she's preparing the bed. "We goan party like, it's yo birfday…"
Alarm. Snooze. Sleep.
She's preparing a video camera. Woohoo! She wants to tape it while we're doin' our thang! "We goan sip Bacardi like, it's yo birfday…"
Alarm. Snooze. Sleep.
I was totally wrong. She wanted me to tape her while she's having sex with Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak.
The alarm went off. I got up.
posted at 12/16/2005 09:04 am : Permalink
Categorized Huh? : Tagged dream, Hosni Mubarak, sex
The sweet smells of her
fill my mind when I'm alone
Scents of lust, magic
posted at 12/06/2005 12:59 pm : Permalink
Categorized Haiku and poetry : Tagged Bunny, sex
Last night we went to a movie and then out for a few drinks afterward. We got home around one in the morning. We talked up the babysitter a bit.
I was mostly being polite to her. She's such a sweet girl, and I almost think of her as a kind of surrogate daughter. But apparently she didn't understand the way the evening was supposed to go. The Bunny and I go out, we have a few drinks, and then we come home and do things that require the babysitter to be somewhere else.
After what felt like six and a half years, she was finally ready to leave. I drove her home, paid her, and drove back to our house. At home, I stood outside the back door having one last cigarette before I went inside for the night. Bunny saw me watching her through the patio door and did her best to give me every reason to go back in the house.
That was my favorite moment of the evening. It was better than the movie, the drinks with friends, and everything that came later. I loved that moment. It was serene, peaceful. It was a moment of stillness before the passion and the inevitable afterglow. I loved the calm I felt inside as I stood on my deck, smoking and watching her through the glass with the year's first snow melting in my hair.
posted at 11/06/2005 12:31 pm : Permalink
Categorized General : Tagged Bunny, sex, snow