I think my sister just told me two people are fucking a dolphin in her bathroom. I may have misunderstood.
Tag archives for Sister
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Good gift, bad gift
I got my first Christmas present of the year last night. Little early? Yeah. But some people are really impatient. (Like me.)
The Bunny and The Chicken went shopping yesterday and Chicken found something he decided I absolutely had to have. He was all set to save it for Christmas. That lasted about 30 minutes. He was SO excited to get my reaction and for me to start enjoying it right now.
So, with a touch of ceremony in taking it out of the bag (Clark W. Griswold would have asked for a drumroll, but that's just not how we roll), it was revealed to be a snow globe. A snow globe? He thought I'd like this? Then I saw what was in the globe.
Aw! How cute. He knows I loves me some penguins, and the parent and child image is so sweet. That is a pretty good gift. Unlike what my Sister gave me for my birthday.
It's not a bad gift. Not at all. Really, is there any such thing as a bad gift? My point is that those books are a gift designed to yank my chain. It's the kind of gift that really hits on "the joy of giving," and she certainly did enjoy giving them. The little shit.
And since the subject has been broached… yes, I like Hannah Montana. The tv show can be retarded, but I think she's as cute as a button (and Emily Osment is even cuter). Plus, the music is actually pretty good. As soon as you're done judging me over this, you should give it a listen.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Oh, by the way!
Oh, by the way! Did I mention it's my sister's birthday?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Yeah, alright shut it
(Ran into my sister last night while shopping)
Sister: How you doin'?
Me: Yo.
(She points to my shopping bag)
Sister: What'd you buy?
Me: Want to see?
Sister: Show me, show me!
(A pull out an item)
Sister: Smallville?
Me: Shut up, Smallville is cool!
Sister: Uh-huh.
Me: Fuck ya, I'm not showing you what else I bought.
Sister: I'm strangely ok with that decision.
(pause)
Me: Ok, I want to show you.
(I pull out the other item)
Sister: I have no idea who that is.
Me: Paul Potts?
Sister: Yeah, no idea.
Me: You know that show America's Got Talent?
Sister: Yeah.
Me: There's a UK version, Britain's Got Talent. This guy won the show. He's a pudgy, dumpy Welsh cell phone salesman who sings opera.
Sister: Uh… ok?
Me: He's really good. The guy's extraordinary.
Sister: Hm.
Me: I like to think of myself as a sensitive guy, right? But still, I'm not especially mushy-headed. This guy, his voice… when I hear him sing, I get teary-eyed.
(pause)
Sister: Uh… ok!
(pause)
Me: Yeah, alright, fuck ya then.
Sister: heh. I'm not judging!
Me: You're just… processing.
Sister: That's a lot to take in.
(pause)
Me: Yeah, alright, fuck ya then.
Sister: Ok!
Me: Ok iloveyoubye!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Hasn't sunk in
It's been a couple of weeks since my sister left the bank, but I still look for her there. Then I remember and think "Oh yeah. Duh me."
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
By request and suck free
Several of you asked what the hell that thing is in the second picture in the ring post.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
You know…
…it's very disconcerting to have your little sister call for directions in the middle of the night because she got lost on bad roads in a snowstorm and have her cell phone cut out while talking to her. It's even more disconcerting to have your callback go to voice mail.
Should this happen to you, you might feel guilty if you leave a voice mail asking if she's dead.
Just saying.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Any interest in this?
So. Oscar nominations were announced yesterday. Sister and I have a standing "ten dollars or lunch" wager on which of us can pick more winners. Oscar.com does this annual Pick The Winners contest, with real prizes, where you can match yourself up with friends online. I set up a group last year, but only one person participated.
Is anyone interested in this? Should I set up a group this year? If I threw down my gauntlet, would anyone pick it up?
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Ahh, much better
We went on a little shopping trip this past weekend. (Shows you how lazy I've been that I'm only now getting around to writing about it.) We mounted our four-cylinder steed and trekked an hour south to the nearest city with decent shopping.
I started the day with a head full of ideas. "I want to look for this, pick up that, get one of those, and I should check out the price on that other thing…"
Yeah, didn't work out for me. Everything I wanted I either could not find or forgot to look for. I was hoping to come home with a fistful of goodies. I finished the day with only an unexpected find: a bargain bin copy of 200 Cigarettes.
That's not enough to satisfy. Amazon to the rescue!
I got some Walking Dead, some Green Arrow, and some Death. (That sounds weird, doesn't it? "I got some Death?")
I feel much better now.
Oh, and I bought a birthday present for Sister too.
In other news, Pajama Pants has moved away. I was wondering why I hadn't seen her at The Chicken's bus stop for a week or two. I ran into her last night and asked her if she'd changed bus stops.
It turns out that, yes, she has changed bus stops. Sort of. She moved to a different city. She says her boyfriend turned violent so she had him arrested and left. Good for her.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Glass Houses
(Sister and I are talking, about what I forget.)
Me: You may be right.
Sister: Yeah.
Me: I may be crazy.
Sister: haha!
Me: But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.
(pause)
Me: (singing) Turn out the light!
Sister: Oh no. No no no. No Mick Jagger today.
Me: That's you Billy Joel, you ass.
Sister: Same difference!
Me: Not even! They're nothing at all alike!
Sister: Pfft. Don't talk to me anymore.