*Subtitle: I know, my life is so much more fabulous than yours!

Sunday was a perfectly boring day. We slept as late as a five year old child would allow, then spent vast amounts of time doing as little as possible. Which is a stark contrast to my previous two chapters, I know. But we were completely and totally unmotivated. We made vague plans for later in the week, but mostly we had a real "Sunday morning lazy" kind of thing happening. Which very quickly turned into a "Sunday afternoon lazy" kind of thing.

We tried to pass the time with simple, homebound pursuits. Like, say, napping on the couch. But The Kid's boundless energy would not be subdued so easily. Eventually he was able to drag us out of the house by the hems of our shirts and we found ourselves at the playground, skateboards in hand.

We passed on the skate park this time. With its ramps and rails, the skate park is mostly for those who already know how to skate. Instead, we chose the wide open paved spaces of the basketball courts at the elementary school around the corner.

The Kid tired of skating almost immediately and left Girlfriend and I to practice while he romped on the playground equipment. We're both starting to get pretty good. And by "pretty good" I mean "we can almost go in a straight line without falling off."

We zipped back and forth, practicing our turning and our balance. Girlfriend has a distinct advantage over me with both of these. She doesn't have her own board, so she uses The Kid's nice skate shop board. I still use my crappy ten dollar Wal-Mart board. There's more of a difference than you might think. When I use the expensive board, my skills improve instantly and dramatically.

After putzing around for an hour or so, Girlfriend got a little bored and went to play with The Kid. I had the nice board all to myself for a while. I was feeling a little confident, so I decided to practice sharper turns. Big mistake.

I should have remembered that the curse of The Chronicles of Riddick was still in effect. See, the problem here is that I haven't yet purchased any pads. I'd prefer to have a helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, wrist guards, and a nut cup. And a bullet proof vest. But no… never got around to buying all that. I have only a helmet.

My natural inclination is of course to not fall. And that's amplified quite a bit by the fact that my shorts and tshirt will offer no protection. Oh, and I'm zooming around rather quickly. Maybe you can see where this is going.

So I was practicing turning when I suddenly lost balance. I didn't fall, but I came pretty close. Falling might have been preferable. No, I lost balance and steadied myself by planting one foot on the pavement. The other foot was planted firmly on that non-slip sandpaperish coating on the skateboard.

And I did the splits. Not just any split. I did a rolling split. My left foot was stuck to the board, which was still moving. So when my feet were as far apart as they could go, the momentum of the board began to drag me. This must've looked wicked funny, because Girlfriend laughed like it was the funniest thing she'd seen in a year. Or at least the funniest thing that didn't involve Ben Stiller.

I found it considerably less entertaining. That tearing muscle sensation in my groin kind of got me down. Don't get me wrong, I pull my groin all the time. But my way is usually a lot more pleasant.

I'm pretty sure that damn movie is to blame. I curse you Riddick! It's all your fault.