Yesterday I added British newspaper The Guardian as an AvantGo channel. This morning I'm reading it for the first time and there's a link that catches my eye: "News Quiz." I think to myself, "that could be fun. I'll see how up I am on UK happenings."

So I'm taking the quiz and feeling pretty good about myself. I know the Queen has a cold, and I know that Mel B is getting all diva and preventing a Spice Girls reunion [shudder]. And then I get to question number seven.

7. Which British album was named best of the last 20 years in US magazine Spin?

Bastards.

I would have assumed that The Guardian was just taunting me, but given yesterday's events I can see that this quiz is a declaration of allegiance. The enemy is building an army to match ours. The battle lines are being drawn as we speak. We must remain steadfast.

The editors at Spin Magazine are trying to destroy me. Wait, I might be getting ahead of myself.

Two months ago, I blathered mindlessly about Radiohead's CD "OK Computer." I exposed my lack of coolness by confessing that I just do not "get" that CD. (You should go read that post, and the comments. It's pretty good.)

I also theorized that maybe all the cool people are just plain lying. I consider it a distinct possibility that everyone thinks this album blows and I'm the only one sufficiently outside the circle of cool to dare to point out how naked the emperor really is.

The editors of Spin do not take kindly to having their chicanery exposed. In response to me, they have selected OK Computer the top CD of the past 20 years. Clearly my accusations are too close to the truth to go unanswered.

They have shown me the true path with far more clarity than I could ever have managed on my own. This is validation. The Radiohead people are faking it, and Spin magazine is trying to discredit me for exposing them. It's kind of sad seeing the so-called pop art aristocracy overreacting to my little rant in such a dramatic way.

If they think I'm going down without a fight, they're sorely mistaken. My original post was almost a confession of weakness, but the comments were absolutely empowering. Before that post, I was an ordinary man pretending to be cool. But my flimsy wardrobe of black turtlenecks has been augmented with my Super Trendy Armor of Negation ©.

Here and now I draw a line in the black earth. Now comes the time for battle. I will stand and fight! Who among you will stand with me? Together we will destroy the charlatans of Spin Magazine. With one voice we will shout "OK Computer blows, and we won't let you fool us anymore!"

The enemy is powerful. This is a battle we might not win. But better we should die on our feet than live on our knees. Let the call go forth throughout the land: war is upon us! Win or lose, the fury of our battle will shake the very pillars of heaven!