Tag archives for stupidity
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Dude! A little privacy?
I'm so tempted to use that junk toilet the landlord parked out on the curb in front of my office.
That's just wrong
There's something very wrong about taking a broken toilet and putting it on the curb with a sign that says "FREE!"
Monday, August 27, 2007
It's Miller time!
If you're anything at all like me, you're constantly prowling the internet looking for examples of other people being really, really stupid. Stupid people make me feel good about myself. Miss Teen South Carolina makes me feel so good, I'm like Superman on heroin.
I feel like now I need to celebrate or something. Public assery like that comes along less often than holidays.
Props (and love and sloppy kisses) to Bunny for encouraging me to look for this.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
That's so backwards
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" is an expression supposedly born out of the story of the Trojan horse, where many people died because no one looked the gift horse in the mouth.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I probably know that guy
There's an old movie theater half way between my office and my house. Sometimes when I'm walking home from work I'll cut through the alley behind this theater to save my myself a minute of foot time and a little shoe leather.
On the theater's back wall is a bit of graffiti I've seen so often I don't even notice it anymore. The other day I considered it just might be entertaining enough to share. So because I'm always thinking about you, I took a picture.
Yup, "Whitsnake."
Given that the height of Whitesnake's popularity was when I was in high school, I probably know the vandal who wrote that. When I think back and ask myself "Who was so into Whitesnake he'd graffiti it, but so dumb he'd misspell it?" I come up with a short list of likely candidates.
I'll bet it was that pale blond guy with the snaggletooth and the leather jacket who was always hanging around with Donny C.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Ooh, tingly!
Hey, guess what? I'm we-todd-it!
Last night I fell asleep on the couch watching Garden State. I first woke up this morning at probably seven something when The Bunny and The Chicken came downstairs. I say "probably" because I don't really remember, but I suspect I grunted and rolled over.
Some time later, I was alert enough for Bunny to point out that she and Chicken normally spend a Saturday morning cuddled up on the couch watching cartoony type stuff. The implication of this being that me sprawled out on the couch was busting up their groove. I grunted and rolled on to the floor.
I'm not sure how long I stayed on the floor in front of the couch, but I don't think it was very long. I was soon up on my feet and heading for the recliner, where I quickly dozed off again.
At some point, The Bunny asked if I was awake enough for a latte. I'm always awake enough for a latte! Or so I thought. Bunny brought me a steamy hot cup of morning sunshine, which I rested against my bare chest while I let it cool and continued reclining.
I nodded off again, spilling steamy hot morning sunshine on my chin, neck, chest, and groin.
Holy fuckbuckets. I jumped up out of that chair like I was on fire, which I kind of was. I'm a little scalded, but not so bad that you could call it burned. The redness has faded but my skin is still a little tingly.
Lots of people use coffee to get themselves moving in the morning, but I'm taking it to the next level.