2005, my first year of blogging, was a busy year. Through numerous identities and blogs scattered all over the web, I wrote around six hundred posts. These are the best of them.

I've collected my twelve favorites. I didn't start blogging until mid-February, and didn't write anything that didn't completely suck until mid-March, so I doubled up on July and September to round out my favorite twelve.
 

March - It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you - An autobiographical post about everyone on the planet conspiring together to keep me from getting to work on time.

April - My vice, my imagination, my new favorite disease, and The Passion of The Toenail - A silly, rambling post about cigarettes, soldering irons, Sister's hideous deformity, and a disgusting TV commercial.

May - And the winner is… - The results of what was to be the first annual Salad Tossing Haiku Contest. There will probably be a second annual haiku contest, but there will almost certainly be a new focus.

June - Half-assed Entertainment Review: The Washingtonienne - The first full book review I've ever written. I'm still pretty proud of it.

July #1 - The Cornrowed Hottie - An autobiographical, but ancient, story of a girl I met in my favorite bar.

July #2 - Manhattan Jasmine and The Canyon of Heroes (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) - Not-so short fiction originally posted on Jasmine's blog. She solicited volunteers to guest post while she was spending all her free time studying for the New York bar exam. This was my contribution.

August - One for the time capsule - An exposition of Andy Capp funny books and how they've changed over the years. Also this blog's 200th post.

September #1 - Vacanigans, part 2 - An autobiographical post about housework as foreplay and the drunk girl at McDonald's on the second day of my vacation.

September #2 - The Adventures of A Kindergarten Dad - An autobiographical post about the first day Miles came home sick from school.

October - Bookstore - A fiction post with an unusual layout.

November - A Day In The Life of Lulu's Bitch - For ten days in late October and early November I guest hosted Lulu's blog while she was away in Ireland. I had eleven posts as "Lulu's ManServant #1." This is the best of them.

December - Missed Connections - A post about a girl who broke my heart while shopping for TVs. Most of you mocked this post, but I still love it. Go take a leap if you don't get it.
 

No one asked, and probably no one cares, but here they are anyway. The best of me, 2005.